Revealing a Future of Truth.

 Topic: Revealing a Future of Truth.
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  Posted on March 22, 2012 20:53
Hyorinmaru_Ice
Rank: member

Forum Rank:
Shadow

Posts: 1923
Joined on:
January 14, 2009
#1
One last poem before I go on my break...


Send pieces of your soul to practice another,
Pretend like some one you are not.
Working and paying for something,
That doesn't even exist they sought.

The senses succumb to the numb,
Everything makes up a profound truth.
Premature they assume it happened,
A sudden possession they thought it took you.

Dissipate the love once found,
Attract the hate from the wicked.
Destroy a way for the beloved,
Conjure a path for the sickened.

Look into my shattered eyes,
Reveal the broken two in the glass.
Try to rewind time for a better future,
In order to destroy the decomposed past.
Sometimes you have to let things go,
So they go on their own,
To fully understand,
Life first-hand.


Kiss in the Rain

  Posted on March 22, 2012 22:35
lowcko
Rank: member

Forum Rank:
Headless Horseman

Posts: 2867
Joined on:
January 14, 2009
#2
Hyorinmaru_Ice wrote:
One last poem before I go on my break...


Send pieces of your soul to practice another,
Pretend like some one you are not.
Working and paying for something,
That doesn't even exist they sought.

The senses succumb to the numb,
Everything makes up a profound truth.
Premature they assume it happened,
A sudden possession they thought it took you.

Dissipate the love once found,
Attract the hate from the wicked.
Destroy a way for the beloved,
Conjure a path for the sickened.

Look into my shattered eyes,
Reveal the broken two in the glass.
Try to rewind time for a better future,
In order to destroy the decomposed past.
i like your work, but have you tried using simpler words?
A great poem doesn' t have to have complicated words in every sentence.
Keep an it though

"mex bros with that nigga yy (kredface)"
Orihime_Chan_01, T-BoyXKid, Virz.
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