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Posted on July 30, 2009 21:32

NegativeEspada
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(Sorry that i gave up on CoL, I just didnt have the inspiration for it.)
Hidden: Chapter 1: Discovery
Note: This series is meant for ages 13+. If you are under this age, please refrain from reading, as it has strong profanity and violence.

"Ugh.. This shits gonna be gay.." I whispered to myself, taking in a small glance behind me of 3 shady looking men, who were probably after my homemade lunch sack, like every day on the way to school ever since i had moved here to NYC. As i was glancing towards my highschool, only minutes away by walking, an excruciating pain shot from my back, to my head, and back to my lower back. I fell to the ground, stunned by the sudden hit. A large boot was stuck into my stomach and flipped me over. I struggled to open my eyes, and when i did, I regretted it. I should have played knocked out. Now that im concious, theyre going to beat me to a pulp..

"Hey faggot, cough it up." I sat up, a roaring pain eminating from my upper back. I fished around in my pocket and pulled out 4 crumpled 1 dollar bills. The guy behind me snatched my lunch, and the guy on my right punched me square in the nose and jacked my bills. The guy who called me a fag then took his bat and smashed my left leg. I screamed in pain and the 3 chumps left. As usual, school was a pain. After third period, i got called to the office council room, where 2 men that I didnt know and the vice principal sat in a half circle around this long oval desk. I looked around, and 1 chair, the 3 people surrounding it, was set up for me.

"Sit," the vice principal said. Staring deeply into my eyes. I sat down, feeling akward, and the vice principal, being the strict woman that I've hated, asked me, "How are things at home?" FOR THE LAST TIME IM NOT GETTING BEAT BY MY PARENTS YOU DUMBFUCK... I really wanted to yell that in her face, but i decided to say, "Nice." instead. Of course, i was lying. My dads an alchoholic, and who knows what my mom does on her "4 day vacations" every week? As the conversation went on and deeper into my personal life, I discovered the 2 men were social workers. "Well, if you have any problems at home, you can come right here and talk to me. This is like a home away from home for you." Pssh.. Yeah right. The school bell rang, and i walked my way home. It would have been cool to have friends, but they all have their "groups" and so I just lay low and do stuff myself. As I was wishing for a friend or two, the same men from the early morning mug were speed walking towards me. I had'nt figured that out until one of them tapped my back. As i turned around, two of the guys grabbed me, and i felt a sack go around my head. Bread crumbs with a hint of turkey scent. My lunch bag.

"Aye, yo," a guy said to me, taking off the mask. He wasnt familiar, but he seemed strange. There was only him, and we were in an abandoned warehouse. I can take him. He held out his hand and looked longingly into my eyes. I dont know what made me do it, but i took his hand. He pulled me up and said, "Aye. You were getting kidnapped, or so I saw, hombre." He kind of looked like a mix of a spanish hobo, and one of those surfer dudes you always see on TV. He had a unshaven face, a plaid button up, beige shorts, and worn out sandals. He started walking towards this broken down car, so i just stood there, not saying anything. "I know what you are," He muttered while glancing around the car, not much focused on anything.

"Huh?.." I finally got 1 word to come from my mouth. The dude took his arm, and to my frickin' surprise, smashed it into the car's hood, and pulled out a heavy looking pipe, about as long as my arm. I almost shit my pants, but then, I froze, because he appeared right in front of me as I blinked, and pulled his arm back, ready for a swing. Scared to death, I held out my arms, turned my head, and shut my eyes so hard, they started hurting. A buzzing sound vibrated through a room, and then everything was quiet. I opened my eyes a crack, then saw the dude's body shaking on the floor, kinda like a seizure. I opened my eyes fully, and started backing away a few steps.

"Whooo.. Cough... That was jive, bro." The guy started getting up, and patted his shirt. "Did you see that shit? You were like Zeus man!" I was staring at him with big eyes. "Never heard of zeus?" He said, looking at me as i walked towards a wall, hoping a door to my neighborhood would be there. What the shit.. I glanced down at my hands and screamed. I fell backwards my butt hitting the smooth cement ground. My hands were emmiting electricity. "Hey fool, whats wrong?" In less than a second, he was in front of me. He crouched down while i sat there, dumbfounded.

"Man, get me out of here," I said in a shaking voice. He then looked up. "Aight fool. Tomorrow at 7 in the m, I'm gonna have you meet the crew." He grabbed me by the back of the shirt and in 3 seconds, I was back in front of the school. As I walked home, I knew my life was gonna get shittier.

-END of CHAPTER 1-

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Posted on July 30, 2009 21:38

kiira-kun
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You got some talent, kid. XD Seems like an interesting story, i dont quite have anything bad to say about it. Cept, maybe it would be better that this turns out to be yaoi story, but thats just me. XD Good good job.

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Posted on July 30, 2009 21:40

NegativeEspada
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Quote by kiira-kun

Whats Yaoi? o-o

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Posted on July 30, 2009 21:42

Nji29
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Quote by NegativeEspada

Quote by kiira-kun

Whats Yaoi? o-o

Anime boy luvv o-o

Anyway you got talent o.o

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Posted on July 30, 2009 21:43

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Damn, i enjoyed reading that, loved the satire in the writer's voice. Definitely like the realism and host actions of the characters - looking forward to the next chapter.

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Posted on July 30, 2009 21:46

Lethal_Gin
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agreed with dead .

Posted on July 30, 2009 22:15

ShadowUchiha64
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Wow i read all of it forgetting that it was ur story NE, Nice job. In a single moment i came up with a story of my own , more like of an idea but the first half wud be pretty simialr to urs. Think i shud give it a try?

Quote by DeadSight

Damn, i enjoyed reading that, loved the satire in the writer's voice. Definitely like the realism and host actions of the characters - looking forward to the next chapter.

^ditto

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Posted on July 30, 2009 22:17

NegativeEspada
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Quote by ShadowUchiha64

Quote by DeadSight

Damn, i enjoyed reading that, loved the satire in the writer's voice. Definitely like the realism and host actions of the characters - looking forward to the next chapter.

^ditto

Yeah. Who knows? You could be the next Mark Twain.

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Posted on July 31, 2009 00:00

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I liked it. =D
I wanna hear the rest, I enjoy a good story.
The guy at the end reminds me of a guy named Cy in a book I'm reading, they have the same additude. =0
YOU BETTER TELL ME WHEN YOU WRITE MORE.

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Posted on July 31, 2009 00:01

NegativeEspada
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#10

Quote by -Mollie-

Ok.

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Posted on August 2, 2009 14:01

dantehalo
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#11

WOW. That was good. Liked how you had imagery in the story.

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Posted on August 2, 2009 17:34

haydude
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#12

great story i can do stuff like this but only when i feel like writing alot and usaly i dont feel like writing

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Posted on August 3, 2009 00:12

SharinganMasterd
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#13

Very nice, i'm looking froward to reading the next chapter.

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Posted on August 3, 2009 17:34

NegativeEspada
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#14

Bumped.

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Posted on August 3, 2009 18:28

Kiba2Shika
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#15

DAMN! You got talent. Thats some nice writing. Story makes sence and no dull parts

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